justonetruth | Locked to Deaduction

Just as Conan might have been seriously starting to worry, there was a sharp chill and the candles before the shrine flickered. Shinichi stirred, reaching out to the familiar surroundings with relief. Anything familiar was welcome, at this point--

Though he wasn't expecting anything quite as familiar as his counterpart. Shinichi came to a pause.

After a moment he settled into a sofa, sure somehow, that the other knew he was there. He concentrated on gathering himself as cohesively as he could -- after that last encounter he was sure he was going to need to.

Conan looked up when the chill entered the room and the lights flickered. That'd be him. Unless another ghost had come.

"Shinichi?" He called out, looking around until he saw him starting to come into view on the couch. "About time. I've been waiting forever."

Shinichi waited until he'd got himself as much there as he was going to be before speaking. He was barely visible in the darker parts of the shadows, and his voice was quiet but there.

"That's a long time."

"Very long," Conan said. "But I needed to talk with you. About what happened."

He'd known this must be coming and he wasn't looking forward to it. Shinichi gathered himself and waited.

Conan waited for a response, but realized it wasn't going to come. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"I didn't want you to see that memory. It's...full of a rather unpleasant time. That was when I thought Ran was still lost and I was afraid I might lose my sanity. Seeing what Makoto did with my face and facing Kisaki and Toyama's wrath didn't help at all."

"I know you didn't want me to see it," Shinichi agreed slowly. "But when I saw it was there -- instinct I suppose. We want to know the truth." He paused, weighing the hurt the truth had caused against the memories themselves.

"You -- they really thought that you would--" The ghost hesitates, unsure that he wants the answers.

"It really does get us into too much trouble sometimes," Conan said with a wry smile.

"...they were reacting on what they knew. Kudo Shinichi didn't come to her funeral. Even though she waited so long, he couldn't even come then," Conan said, bowing his head. "Uncle actually saved me there. I think he had figured out who I was by that point. He made me list off all these numbers. To show them both that even if I didn't show...I knew when I last saw Ran, spoke to her, when she was taken, and when she..." He trailed off.

"Still...I thought that's how Ran must have seen if, if she could watch from the heavens. Who knew if she could tell who I was then or not."

Shinichi smiled faintly, relieved that his counterpart understood that at least -- that he wasn't going to be angry with him for looking. It was his truth after wasn't it?

He was silent, muted by the pain in the other's voice. He'd told Ran how much he admired this counterpart's maturity, but he was reminded again at just how great a cost it had come.

"Stupid," he said finally. "Of course she would have known." He paused, smiling as he remembered that this Ran wasn't forced to watch without being seen. "But you found her."

Conan smiled fondly. "Yes...I found her. It'll be a big surprise when we go home, but it'll make a lot of people happy," he said.

"Though..." He focused on her counterpart. "If I'm hiding a memory...it's for a good reason. Because it'll either be something that would tear you up to see, or because it will be me at the time where I still believed Ran to be gone. And...I wasn't much better than your Ran. If it wasn't for the fact I was chasing the Organization, I might have done a lot worse to myself during that time."

"It really will." And happiness was definitely something that Ran deserved.

The ghost didn't argue that. He knew that had been a mistake almost immediately, and well -- while he might not admit defeat in front of most others, it was hard to argue with himself.

But for his other to be saying that -- warning him against pushing too far ... Shinichi looked up in sudden suspicion. His counterpart trusted him that much? No -- cared that much? "I understand. And I definitely agree. I -- trust you." More perhaps than he trusted himself.

"We'll have to make up a story of why she was gone so long though," Conan said with a nervous laugh. "Ten months is hard to explain away."

He quirked an eyebrow at the look, tilting his head. "What's with the suspicious look then?" He asked. "I said I'd help and I won't go against my word unless I have good reason too."

"You'll think of something." There was absolute certainty in that; Shinichi had no doubt that his counterpart could manage it.

"No, I'm --" Shinichi shook his head, unable somehow to meet his counterpart in the eyes. "I wasn't sure how you'd react," he said. "Once I'd recovered enough to think about it. But I never thought -- I wasn't sure you'd let me again," he finished quietly, looking up to meet his counterpart's gaze seriously. "This is more than I deserve."

"Heh. I'm sure we can," Conan said. After all, Ran was there too to help.

"You deserve time to do what you need to and having time wasted here isn't fair. No harm was done, so there's no reason to hold it against you as long as you don't try it again consciously," Conan said, smiling at his counterpart sincerely.

That sincerity --

Shinichi felt something nameless slip away from him. He let it go without protest, marvelling at how sharper things seemed, as though something had come into focus suddenly. "Thank you," he said. "But not now, I think. There's something -- something I need to get straight first."

"Probably for the best. Doing that after talking about bad memories is begging for me to let something slip," Conan said.

That and the fact it ALWAYS took forever to suppress those darker thoughts after getting such a strong reminder, but he didn't want to guilt trip the other.

"Did something else happen?"

Shinichi's grimace might have indicated that he guessed some of what his counterpart was thinking, but his expression quickly turned very serious.

"Yes. Yes, something did."

Conan wouldn't react to the grimace. He wasn't going to confirm anything about that.

"What is it? Did you meet with Ran again?"

Shinichi shook his head. "There's a -- Kid here. He's not Kid. 1412."

He really doesn't want to explain further, but he can't not tell. "I realised he was off, didn't realise -- didn't want to realise, maybe -- just how off. He's insane. His mind -- it's all over the place. Stabbing sort of instinct, dragging you down, turning on itself -- It's too much."

Conan was silent for several moments at that. "...insane, huh?" Sad to say, the possibility was not an impossibility in his mind. It had been ever since he found out Kaito got himself Demon Sealed.

Out of control. Violent. Completely engulfed by one sin. As much as he wanted to avoid it, the possibility was there Kaito would be overcome by it.

"What kind of insane? How dangerous is he?"

"Very." The ghost really didn't want to risk his hard-won stability by remembering 1412's mind, but he forced himself to think back. "Killing's not -- it's a need. Says he needs a contract but the contract is what he wants it to be. I didn't give him one and he took it anyway."

Conan frowned, index and thumb holding his chin as he thought this over. "...he needs justification," Conan said. "He enjoys stealing, no matter what he says, and he does it without his conscience getting to him because it's for the 'greater good.'" He theorized. "This one needs to be doing a service to do it, but it's an addiction, so the rules will be bent."

"It's no service." The ghost scowled. "He knew those were mine and he took them anyway."

"What exactly did he think the contract was?" Conan asked.

The ghost is silent a moment before replying. He doesn't like how easily he was tricked, less admitting that to another. "We were playing a game. 20 questions," he explains. "1412 who wouldn't I kill. I didn't trust him with that answer so he changed it to who I would -- and then announced he had a contract when I replied."

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