justonetruth | (no subject)

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Conan stood in the doorway of his room. He was gripping the door frame, taking deep breathes and letting them out slowly. He didn't leave often, usually only for trips to the library or for food. Maybe the occasional odd trip to explore, but otherwise, he kept to the room. Because he knew there was a risk in leaving.

He could see HER again. And he hadn't been ready for that. Years, for years she'd been gone. He was almost twelve again, and he'd been eight again when he lost her. He had given up on her. He'd given up on seeing her.

And he came here and did. At first he thought if he just waited long enough, he'd been sent home again, but it didn't look like he was again and with each passing day, he was likely to run into her. He didn't want to freak out on her. He didn't want to scare her or hurt her. So he had no choice. He had to face her.

He took one last deep breathe and let it out again before venturing into the halls and started to walk. "R....Ran!" He called, his voice cracking at first. How long had it been since he dared to say the name aloud? It'd been too long. But he had to say it. He had to accept this truth and....and deal with it. "Ran!" Hopefully he was prepared as he thought for whenever his call actually reached a Ran.

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Ran simply continued to hold him, one hand threading in his hair as if he really was a child, and let him cry. Her own tears were still being held at bay, but that didn't stop her from keenly feeling a stabbing pain in her heart with every shake of Shinichi's body.

If there was anything she could do to stop him from feeling like this...

...But she knew there wasn't. Nothing brought back the dead, and she couldn't exactly go back to his world with him. And even if she could, it wouldn't be the same.

She hated it.

Conan wouldn't speak or move for a while, continuing to shake in her arms as the tears fell unbidden, as if flooding out from that emptiness inside.

"Ran..." He finally croaked, his voice tight with how constricted his throat felt. "I...thank you."

"Baka, there's nothing to thank me for," she said quietly, smiling ever so slightly, sitting back more on her heels and taking his weight with the easy strength borne of years of martial arts. She meant what she said. Shinichi meant so much to her -- she couldn't imagine doing anything else.

"No. I have a lot to thank you for. Even I'm not sure what all of it is," Conan said with a weak, sad chuckle. "...I still love you...her..." Dimensions made it hard to keep straight.

Ran's hold tightened briefly at his admission, and she hesitantly asked, "How long has it been...?"

"...it's getting close to four years now."

Four years... She couldn't imagine four years with Shinichi gone, knowing that he'd never come back. She was having trouble just getting through two with the hope that he'd come home again.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault...you tried to escape...almost did. They're...just the kind of people who are good at clean up and that agent messed up," Conan said, wiping at his eyes.

Good at cleanup...

Ran felt a little sick.

She loosened her hold just a bit so Shinichi could move if he wanted to, though she didn't let go entirely. "Are you still looking for them?"

Conan nodded. "I never stopped. I've found out a lot about them now. Though from means that aren't exactly 'normal' and wouldn't hold up in court. She was right...you were...stuff like ESP and prophecy all exist. Even teamed up with a witch," he said, looking up. His eyes were red, which isn't a surprise with how much he cried.

But he looked tired. Very, very tired. He'd been chasing them so long, it had started to get to him.

"A... witch?" Ran drew back to look at him, her expression solemn at the tight and drawn look on his face. Without even thinking, she lifted a hand to cup his cheek, gently wiping away his tears. It was odd, seeing Shinichi and Conan in that face at the same time, but either way, she wanted to comfort him. "You'll find them. I know you will."

"Yes. Koizumi Akako. Real witch. Seen the magic and been turned into a rabbit."

Conan leaned into the touch, closing his eyes, and letting out a tired sigh. "I will...I can't let them get away." It was just so TIRING after so long.

"Koizumi-san-- but she's Kuroba-kun and Aoko-chan's classmate, isn't she?" Ran remembered her being mentioned, but nothing about her being a witch. "Is she helping you?"

She didn't withdraw her hand right away, her other arm still keeping Shinichi supported and upright. Some part of her noted that she should probably feel embarrassed about being this close to him, but faced with this much pain, something like embarrassment seemed trivial.

"That's correct," Conan said. "And she is. Or...rather helping each other. They took an interest in her, so she sought out our help. And she's quite handy to have around."

Conan appreciated not pulling away. Now that he'd gotten this close, it was so easy to just...let himself relax against her.

He looked so tired. Ran let her hand fall from his cheek, pulling him into another hug as she let him rest on her.

"Who else is helping?"

"Heiji, your dad, Hakuba on a purely professional basis. We haven't quite told him everything yet. As well as Kait...Kaitou Kid," Conan answered, leaning against her, letting out another soft sigh.

"Kaitou Kid?" she asked, surprised. The other she could understand, but... "Why him?"

"Because Kaitou Kid has been after those guys longer than me, even if he didn't realize it at first," Conan said.

"He's after them? I thought he just stole jewels." Not that she was particularly minded if it meant that Shinichi had more help.

"Bait," Conan said. "They want a particular jewel and he's trying to find it before them. But it's a double pronged attack. He does it in that flashy way to taunt them and try to drag them out in the open while they try to stop him before he can find the jewel. That's why he never keeps the jewels. He hasn't found the one he's looking for yet."

"So that's why..." Ran murmured, lapsing into silence as she thought that over. It made sense.

"A lot of things make sense that way," Conan said. "Why he's so noble, despite being a thief." Though there might have been a tint of fondness in those words.

Ran picked up on it, and gave Conan a small smile. "You like him."

"...yeah. After so much exposure, that guy gets under your skin," Conan said, chuckling weakly. "And he is the only one who knows about all the crazy stuff I've been through."

"Doesn't Hattori-kun?" Ran asked, surprised.