justonetruth | (no subject)

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[It seems the dressing room is adding to its collection of Rans. What makes this one interesting? Well, let's see...

She evidently hasn't been taking very good care of herself, for starters. She's thin enough for it to be unhealthy, and her eyes are dull and tired-looking. Her clothes are rather plain and neutral, not the bright colours she usually favours, and her hair is suffering the same neglect. Her reactions seem to be affected as well. It takes her a moment to even realize that she's not where she's supposed to be, and it's with more surprise than anything else]

W-where... is this...?

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[Can't be his Ran. Can't be, except that there's something in her shock that's different from the reactions he's been getting, an understanding a flicker of fear that says she knows what Shinichi is.]

[It's a very long moment before he can shake himself out of his shock. Shinichi's abruptly reminded of all he lacks; the space where his lungs were is ice-cold and solid, and though he can't breathe he feels like he is choking. Ran--

She looks like she is ready to run at his slightest movement, but though seeing her afraid is the last thing he wants, he can't stop stepping towards her.]

Ran.

((no worries! I'm on AIM if you want to work out details/have questions/anything like that!))

No.

[]

D-don't, please...

[]

I d-don't want to see it again. I can't.

[]

[It hurts just as he knew it would, more because he knows just how much he's hurt his best friend. And even though it hurts to see her flinch away, he can't not go to her. The impulse to comfort her is too strong.

He's seen enough of the aftermath of these dreams to have a good idea of what Ran's thinking and he reaches out to brush her hair gently, marvelling that he can touch her here.]

You don't have to.

[He hesitates a moment before pulling his hand back, stepping back.]

You're not dreaming.

((so, so evil.))

[]

That's what you always say.

[]

[Despite himself, despite her words, Shinichi smiles thinly, quietly. He's been worried the few days here without her and even though he's been well occupied, it's not the same, never really the same is it?]

Stupid. You can't hear what I say. How do you know?

That's what you say in every dream.

[]

And I always wake up.

[He's got no answer to that, because he knows by now how this works -- this place takes people and sends them back at whim. And when they go back--]

You can't see me, but I'm there.

[His voice is quiet but intense, she's got to hear this, got to know.]

I wouldn't leave you, Ran.

[]

You already did.

[]

It's okay. I just have to get used to it.

[]

No! Ran, I didn't-- I would never--

[But he did, didn't he? And there's nothing he can say, nothing he can do to make it right.]

[No words, but here, have some defeat.]

[]

How did it happen?

[]

[Shinichi sighs, fingers going to remove the baseball cap.] You know--

[He's seen that expression on Ran before, but he's never seen it turned on him. It's --]

[Shinichi collects himself, snorting as he tugs the cap back in place firmly, not trusting himself to look at her. His tone is determinedly brash.] You know I don't reveal the solution until I've got all the facts.

[]

Who's going to find the facts for you this time, tantei-san?

[]

[The words are right, even if the tone isn't, even if she still sounds far too lost and unhappy to be Ran, but Shinichi perseveres as hard as he can.]

Idiot. I don't need anyone to find the facts for me!

[]

Yes you do. You can't interrogate suspects when you're dead, Shinichi.

[]

[At least the reality of the words have come home for him, even if there are still times he forgets. The pain, though faded, remains.]

Don't 'when you're dead' me. I can do what I like.

Maybe if you didn't spend so much time sulking in your room, you'd know a little more about interrogating.

[Come on, Ran, get angry. He could deal with that. He can't deal with you being so -- so ... lost.]

[]

You can't, Shinichi. You're dead.

[]

[Well, if Ran won't be angry ...]

Right! I'm the one who died. So what's your excuse for looking so -- so dead?

Don't this -- Ran, please.

[]

Don't... []

[Shinichi's touch is impossibly gentle, fingers not wholly there as he wipes her tears away. Her sorrow has knocked his anger out of him, leaving him feeling curiously empty, numb he'd say if he remembered still.]

Like you haven't given up.

I'm trying. I'm --

[]

I'm trying, but you're making it so hard --

[Shinichi stops still, feeling as though he's been slapped. Ran--

Ran won't even look at him?]

Ran?

[]

No. No!

[It's lucky, Shinichi can't hold her as he wants. His hands grip her shoulders with all the force he can muster, wanting needing to be heard, felt -- but even that's not more than a light pressure.]

Don't say that, Ran! You don't mean that -- you can't!

[]

Yes I do! You're not coming back, Shinichi!! [] That won't change!! Please, don't make me--

[]

[Silence.

Shinichi remembers to lower his hands. He hesitates, unsure what to do with them -- what to do with himself. He's suddenly uncertain of everything, and his form shivers indistinct.]

Ran. You -- don't you want me to stay?

[Cold. He'd forgotten what it felt like, the cold, but he remembers now--]