justonetruth | (no subject)

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[If you're of a mind to be around a particular area - about where a certain deceased detective was a while ago, in fact - you might just notice a white-clad thief leaning against a wall]

[It's not a casual slump, nor an elegant one - it's the slump of the exhausted, and he certainly looks it - his hat pulled down low, some papers held in one hand, and his eyes half-lidded, seeing nothing in particular]

[a little while after this] [all Shinichi be warned] [in fact, -everyone- be warned]

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She--

[she doesn't know if she should say this, what this will mean for his Aoko, but she can't not]

I love Kaito.

[her voice is literally throbbing with emotion, with love and pain and need, with all the certainty of childhood and adolescence and an engagement and any number of disasters shared between them]

And your Aoko-- your Aoko might too!

[he shakes his head, and for once, his face is open and bewildered]

Can't-- doesn't know-

[he looks so lost that she tentatively approaches him again, reaching out for him with her uninjured hand -- though that requires leaving her broken wrist unsupported, and she has to take shallow breaths to keep the pain under control]

I can. And I do.

[he reaches out and catches her hand, just barely holding on to it] [does he hold it, crush it, smack it and flee, what - she's done it again, and something aches]

[can't speak]

[can't find the words]

[she flinches slightly, but when his grip doesn't tighten at all, she relaxes and draws closer]

It's okay. Just--

[she gives his hand a squeeze. Gently, reassuringly]

--just breathe. You don't have to say anything.

[-breathe. that's simple. he can do that]

[but this can't be- his expression is still bewildered as he searches for the meaning behind it all, the why- where is the reason for this]

...trusting...

[the word slips out, a broken accusation. trusting gets you hurt]

[the tone explains his meaning even if the words don't]

It's okay to trust. Once in a while.

[who did this to him? What caused him to be like this? She needs to know--]

Sometimes accidents happen, but Aoko... Aoko would never do anything to hurt you on purpose.

Okaasan said that, too.

[his tone is blank, stating fact]

[and he trusted his mother when she said everything would be fine even though you can hear him screaming in the fire and you claw and bite and scream against restraining hands as you try and save the man who taught you everything, who makes your world--]

[she hesitates, not knowing if she wants to know, trying not to let herself sound fearful]

What happened to Aya-san?

[he bites his lip, but the giggle still bubbles out, highpitched and a little hysterical]

Didn't listen, did she?

[first taste, first time, and that was the crack, the jarring moment that smashed it all into who he is now]

[Aoko doesn't think she's ever felt so sick in her life]

You--

[he... he couldn't have, not just because she wouldn't listen--

--could he?]

What did you do?

[she can't stop her voice from cracking]

I-

[don't go away, you can't go away now, don't go- he holds his grip tighter, just a little] [he has to be gentle and he's not sure he knows how]

Blood everywhere, and she died.

[she has to stay calm. She has to. They've come this far--]

Was... w-was it an accident?

Dead, and she wouldn't listen-

Had to follow, and she wouldn't listen, so I did because I had to follow and she wans't lsitening and tried to stop me-

....

Not much of an accident. [a listless shrug, eyes drifting sideways]

She got in the way.

[cold. She feels very cold, hearing those words from Kaito's mouth, and the shiver escapes her before she can stop it]

H-had to follow what?

Edited 2010-01-11 21:04 (UTC)

Oyaji.

[the word slips out, and it isn't supposed to, he doesn't remember what happened]

[he doesn't]

Nobody.

.....Follow him how?

[and despite everything she's seen from him so far, this has the potential to scare her the second most, after what happened to Aya. He didn't try to...]

Follow his footsteps, make the world believe no difference in it at all!

[because if he saw just what a good job he was doing - if only enough people believed - then maybe he wasn't gone after all and the screaming would stop]

It was hard at first.

[he smiles a little, fondly]

It's easy now.

But Toichi-tousan wasn't...

[...he wasn't an assassin. He was a magician and a thief who was trying to stop criminals from getting something very important.

...wasn't he?]

[-name]

[namenamenamenamename--]

[-he turns away, pulls away from Aoko, retching, arms wrapped around himself]

[no i don't remember you can't make me fire and blood and he's screaming i don't want to remember!]

[startled by the retching, she reaches after him, almost blacks out again as her wrist is jostled in the process. She staggers and recovers, puts a hand on his back, unsure of what to do]

I'm sorry! I'm sorry.

[her Kaito had never been this affected by Toichi's death that she can remember. He was hurt, damaged, but... not like this. Not broken.

Was that where the burn had come from? Toichi had died in an explosion. Had Kaito actually gone into the fire to try and save him?]

[he's shaking, a low keen rising in the back of his throat]

[he drops to his knees, - i can't stand why can't i - and Aoko is the closest thing, so he leans against her, face hidden against one leg, eyes closed tight]

[fire. he stares in horror and screams like his world is burning- but in the real world he only murmurs the words that make his throat raw with screaming in the past]

...help, oyaji-

[the hand on his back wraps around him as she drops to her knees as well, holding him tight and ignoring the way her gorge rises at the pain from her arm, wishing she had some way of holding back the images tormenting]

Kaito. Kaito, please just breathe. I'm right here. It's--

[but it's not all right, is it? It's never been all right, even for her Kaito, even all these years later]

--it's over. He's not... he's not hurting any more. Please.

[but she's wrong. it's still hurts. why does it hurt.]

[he chokes the words out, fire still dancing across his vision]

Still hurts-

He's not! He can't--

[deep breaths, Aoko]

--he can't hurt any more. It's just... it's just you.

[she presses her face to his shoulder, damp and tense, not sure when she started crying and wishing wishing wishing she could stop that pain, ease it even a little]

It's just you hurting. [and her voice is tiny and tight and unsure with her own pain as she adds] And me.

Edited 2010-01-12 04:22 (UTC)